Wednesday, July 29, 2009

covergirl concealer

my world is so muttered with misconception
mangled with the idea that things can stay the same without other things moving forward and that
the things that should be moving forward can either stay stagnant or moonwalk back when
in fact
that is the biggest misconception of them all
you see
love tends to defy all categories
mystify the logical senses in a way that creates a safety bubble around preexisting and current trangressions but when
even that love is pushed to its limits it begins to shift into panic room mode and look within
or with out with a pen
to examine what ought to be happening
to love hard is without control
but the manner in which that love is disseminated certainly has its limits
it can't see-saw to one side and survive
it needs to toggle back and forth otherwise the game is not worth playing at all
and what's more is
those cards that you've tried so hard to stack into a house will fall
and the mess is hard to rebuild
as you know
outpouring of helping hands and hearts still have not rebuilt the ruins of katrina
and they had outside help
this is a private affair
for private eyes and private ears but
will get nowhere if the message isn't clear on both ends even
seething and walking away helps nothing
pervasive frustrations mold and spread
damp with stubborn stares and the revamping of bad past habits
stemming from the need to be harshly defensive to survive
i am not her or him or them and i do not operate well under stares and shut-downs
solitary moments of silence that only seek to deliver uncertainty in a time where that is the ultimate last ingredient that should be added to the recipe
it doesn't need to be stringent but it should be based in compromise
the basis of our lives likely depends on it
feeling eyes that look without faith or hope or help or care
that i know used to be there but seems to be waning with the moonlight
i crave their return but fear i am in an important conversation to save something
by myself.