Monday, September 14, 2009

"boss_has_landed" (dedication)

despite what i
let transpire
i am not some lame for hire
replicated replica of an original ass muthafucker who deserves the respect you give to another
friend, family member, or even lover
come down off that insensitive bullshit and let yourself stick with a winner who suffers losses and climbs back up the ladder for repositioning
i'm done wishing for treatment i've earned.

i'm exhausted from racking my brain to figure out why i get the short end of the stick from you but
truth dot from this spot to the next
i will do my best to question myself a little less
as I've been
giving until i can't give anymore for as long as i can remember and i
care for others the way i would hope them to do the same and
maybe that's what makes you view me as soft and lame but
He knows me different
and for every ounce of dirt thrown on my feet i grow more gritty
more wise
more immune to your misappropriated discontent

Because you made me.

though i will never let you change the few things about me on which my seldom self esteem relies
in His eyes i am forgiven for my profanity because He knows I'm angry
in His eyes he loves my speech
because it admits my faults against my commitment to the world in which i live
and in His heart
He knows i'm boss
increasingly aware of the things i must do in order to survive the flood of blows from those i know, love, and trust but to whom i am
constant, easy prey
shred with unlevel logic
less emotions
less for the faint at heart.

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